Home » Me + Him = ?
Me + Him = ?
It is CraZy
the ways of dating
and falling in love
…………..but not falling
and wanting to call
…………..but not calling
and wanting to touch
…………..but not touching
and wanting to talk
…………..but not speaking…
leaving you feeling
distraught
caught in the middle
of single….
…………..yet his
physically content
but emotionally divided
you try to hide it
play fight it
unsure when you can
give in
becoming a master
of Pretend
when does it become
more than friends?
when is it alright
can I be
myself tonight?
…………..let inhibitions slow burn in candlelight….
and do all the things
I’ve been wanting
without fear of regretting
for saying some sh*t
I’ve been thinking…
…………..(cause really I love you)
we go back and forth
and up and down
and in and out
and all around
the friendship zone
neither of us
wants to be alone
so instead we
talk in monotone
hold no claims
play the name game
she’s just a friend
he’s not my man
never really
knowing the plan
I’m struggling just
to understand
trying to
maintain my ground
playing around
with the thoughts
trying on the words
to see if they fit
…………..(Me + Him) = ?
scribbling it
on notepads
padding my heart
with guards
who am I kidding
I’m falling hard
and gaining speed
I’m really wanting
Just you and Me
…………..You in?
written by,
tina divina
Do you remember when you were young, you would like a boy and he would like you back and it was no secret. He would say to you, do you go with me? …and just like that, you were in a long term commitment…(long term in junior high was at least til the summer. LOL )
Nowadays you could date someone, and date some more, and date some more….and never really truly know if you are a couple yet. Just enjoying it in limbo, for fear of having “That Conversation”. Sounds crazy, but there is definitely a lack of commitment in today’s society.
I wonder if it is because of the outgrowing ratio of women to men, for fear of committing to this one, because there is still that one….
What do you think?
Holla at me,
~TD
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First off, I’m lovin you being on the Home Page of the Hidden Beach website … you got me cheezin over here.
The piece is amazing, as you are. Really don’t have anything too profound to say except that I really wish i could say to a woman these days …”I like you, you like me, u wanna go together” … and that be it. It seems lustfully simple yet to some may appear inept to say the least.
Sometimes we need to get out of our own way …
homerooms
coffee cakes
the top locker
ditch parties
“scamming” … just dated myself
the late bus
winter session … just did it again
“pencils”
behind “the bungalows”
Mono
LOVE made SIMPLE … We Go Together!
post script
I think its ok to take your time but always, always speak ya mind. Never wait another date, another plate of bullshit to settle down, its too late to come around. If you think it, then let them know, let it show, its ok to let it go, feel it and let it be felt, stop waiting to know where its going and be where its at, i am
… Tina Divina… Do you go with me?
lol nah i feel what your saying.. i think its because now when your out in the world not in the safety of school anymore you get the responsibility in all aspects of life. Back then you could be committed without really anything to be committed to.. i mean you would be together but you didnt live together..or had to think of it… how will you pay the bills? do we have jobs that support us and a family in the future, why am i thinkin about family already? Could i be around this person allll the time?..Do we really like each other enough?.. do i like them more than they like me?…If I take em to see my family does that mean they think its definately going that serious? Should i think about this or nah i’ll just see em at school and hang out at lunch… oh yeah we are going to the movies on friday.
But does it have to be a big deal? i dont think so… i think we need to start trying it out n let yourself commit to someone… maybe if we stopped over thinking everything trying to prevent us from being hurt or winding up in a bad situation, we’d allow us to get into a good one or a great one. Let your heart be open to be broken because it has to be loved to get that way anyway, n the person comin to fix it is right around the corner.
was i deep enough today TD?
Great poem…
my thought on this topic is that for me I don’t want to settle I’m stuck in the mind set thinking I’m going to miss out on the next female and maybe she will be the one so I just keep a friends around so that I don’t miss out on them either..
It’s all about not wanting to get hurt giving up your heart letting your guard down aka being happy..
Trust is my issue,lol Thanks alot Tina for makin me feel bad today ,lol just playing …good job on the website !
I think if a person is fearing….it’s self induced. My first question would be why does there have to be “That Conversation”. I know that I have a tendency to constantly repeat myself but I seem to have found joy in my repetitious ways so I will say it again…people have to stop thinking on it so much and just roll with it. Times have not changed and made what “used” to be simple more difficult…we have….so there within you lies the solution if you find that you are constantly playing the “what if, what is, what about” game. If a man/woman is into you, you’ll know and if he/she has you around but is still looking for something better to come along - it will show…no conversation needs to be had. Why do we have to “know” - why can’t it just be? As long as he/she is making you feel good/loved and you are generally happy why then must it be defined? I just don’t get that.
I think one of the main reasons I am single is because I can’t find someone to who can just roll with it. I mean after one encounter, I seems like they just start talking crazy and for me, it’s a total turn off and sends me running in the opposite direction. In those instances I will at least try to tell the person “hey I like you a lot but slow it down because you moving too fast” but if they keep at the same pace thinking it will somehow get you on the same page when in all actuality it’s making thing worst, you gotta move away from that situation, because they are now allowing their expectations take over, which (in my opinion) is NEVER a good look in any situation. Sometimes a person may really like you….matter of fact I will take it a step further and say they may even love you and not be sure if it’s forever, what’s wrong with that?
Spending time should not have to = [forever] in order for time to be spent and each others company to be enjoyed.
So my counter-question would be “Am I being unrealistic by thinking it could be much simpler than most people make it?”
I am totally diggin’ this piece… it’s exactly what I am going through
I think the overabundance of women and the whole player mentality have some parts to do with it, the fear of rejection on both sides having another part of it, and just plain blind stupidity being the biggest portion.
I dont think people know how to express themselves to each other without being seen as the sucker in the relationship. Like unless the love is mutual one person often becomes the weaker party in the pairing and in the long run that leads to an abusive relationship which a lot of people are caught up in.
Honestly the problems are so many and this is so short a space to say it in.
Beautiful poetry though as always.
are my words gonna be in cursive?
love it, sis!
WOW!! This was hot! It’s so funny how we struggle with love so much when we know in the end that LOVE will in fact WIN!
So is it really the idea of commitment that we struggle with or the notion of giving the power of our heart to one individual? I think a heart is harder to break if it’s already in pieces..ya know??
I was there with my now husband..I refused to say it first (this time around) lol It wasn’t until he upset me to the point I was “done” with whatever we were “doing” that he finally commited to what it was….
Tina!! that is a gr8 question. Temptation is so prevalent today. Yeah the ratio is imbalanced today more women to men but, I feel the FAMILY VALUES, today or SO weak. No one cares to that extent anymore! It starts from home and what you see. How your parents interact when you grow up!! That said how many families actually have both parents. Do the get along? What do the kids see?
The media …oohhhh boye! What r they showing on TV. Sex day and nite is acceptable?!! A very liberal society. Not teaching things that are important! Too much options is and can cause detriment in our decision making. Its like going to the candy or shoe store. Can u walk in a really buy one? lol
i’m ole skoool! Fortunately my folks r still together but there relationship is weak today!!
But for me what I saw when i grew up was I had my mom and popz in my life, and i grew to see the true value of what it takes to raise a some what healthy family. Far from perfect, but I got to see and understand what I had and what mannyyyy others i knew did not have.
Yeah i’m stilll a single ass mo foe today, caught in between both sides the good and the bad.. What a trifilin’ world. I dont want to contradict because i struggle to find that women today that has what it takes to keep me and vice versa!! With that ratio being so imbalanced. I know i will not find ” Perfect “, but I want ATTRACTON IS A MUST i dont care what anyone says!! MORAL AND VALUES, INTERESTING AND FUN!! life is too short to be too serious.
Well T. I may have strayed a bit there but I guess in stimulating convoz it all come’s out lol But your right, it all feels like a flippin game when dating! If u don’t have yo ish together yo loving ass will get hurt because its doggy world.
Dope poem once again NAS, oh I mean Tina lol… keem ‘em coming!! U ever try rapping? LOL
One luv babez!
D.
Remember when you used to pass notes in class? They would say: “Do you like me?”
( ) Yes
( ) No
lol…. I say we start a new trend, opt out of text messages, lets go back to passing notes!! LOLL!
And TROY!! Shame on you, gosh… holding on to the one but never committing!! Haha… No I’m not here to make you feel bad but it is with communication that we learn and grow….Trust me I have had my heart broke a fewwww times, but I dust myself off and get right back on the bike, life is nothing if we are not living…
and on to Andreana.. I do agree with alot that you said, however I have seen far too often a person happy with ones actions, and assuming that it is what it seems, without ever having that conversation (in fact heard it on Ryan’s Roses a few times) and it backfired…. so at some point, I feel, you have to have that talk, of where u stand, if your committed.. or if your just dating.
Benhameen, excellent points, the key being…. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR EGO WHEN DEALING WITH AFFECTIONS OF THE HEART! …. sometimes you just gotta let go, and if I’m not being too spiritual, let God…
Dean I’mma go work on my rap….. I guess I needa rap name first, any suggestions? LOL!!
Thank you all!! =}
~TD
Oh yeah, “Post Script” u lost me on the “scamming” what’s that? lolll…
how about I told someone I ran in track in high school, so they asked what, I described everything in yards..lol, they told me they dont use yardds anymore its “meters” lolll, damn I felt olddddd….lollll..
I feel you Tina, and I agree eventually you have to know where the other person is coming from and understand if you are on the same page or not, but I think some people (men and women) try to have that conversation entirely too soon. Plus, you know I have issues with marriage so my comments are definitely biased based on my perception of that type of union and how it is defined. Maybe if the definition changed I would be more in favor of :o)
As for the running track story…lmao
damn TD overlooked
*goes back into commenting hibernation*
…. “Making Out, Gettin It In, Bustin A Long Slob, Scamming in the halls of the “D” building, LMAOF.
And allow me to be the first to welcome you to the New Millennium … “Yards” T Dot come on now. HA
post script
JM… how did I not comment on your profound words of wisdom?? Yes, my friend, you got deep on us, even a lil poetic “If you think it, then let them know, let it show”… (I like to see its not all jokes)….
and I love this, very true “maybe if we stopped over thinking everything trying to prevent us from being hurt or winding up in a bad situation, we’d allow us to get into a good one or a great one.”
Thank you for sharing and always supporting!!
~TD
My cousin has done it again!!!! Just wanted to come by and show some love and support…from a young woman’s perspective…you are right on target with this one… i couldn’t help but laugh and smile, because i’m going through the EXACT thing!!!! but i really do enjoy your art gurl…keep doing what you’re doing…because you are truly excellent at it!!!
Love Always,
J.A.Z.
As usually, Ms.Tina coming with the fire and letting those words just flow like no other! Girl you know speaks the truth in all your work! You always draw me in with your words cuz its real everyday ish! Loves it!
Well Tina, I think that should happen honestly more often than it does. And by honestly, I mean a man being totally honest with himself. We can wait commitment out biologically better, soooooooo. If he enjoys part of you, there’s always time to improve the parts he doesn’t. In the meantime, why not date others who may also have a shot at happiness. Now this is said with the assumption that the women aren’t being used to merely fuel an insatiable ego, or sex drive. Those guys are immature. I know cuz that was me from Junior High to ……….what time is it?
Hi, good post. I have been thinking about this topic,so thanks for sharing. I’ll certainly be subscribing to your site.
why be commited with someone, when you can play games?!?!
Tina in response to your last 4 paragraphs (above). Yes LOVE lasted a WHOLE summer at that young tender age, because you hadn’t been though the nonsense of life; IE: false love, fake love, love with perimeters etc. So, now at 63 I’m back to the drawing board and he’s saying “haste makes waste”. Could we just try being 15 again and love each other like there is no tomorrow. Or is there another four letter word the that has over powered the LOVE; Fear. Hurt and pain from the past is such a heartbreaker and waste of time!!