Home » Prelude To An Affair…
Prelude To An Affair…
I adjust my ring finger
seems the tenure is getting tight
either my finger got bigger
or the size became slight
something isn’t right
I dare not look you in your eyes
fearful you would see
what’s missing in me…..you
inside I’m blue
and avoiding your touch
evading your glance
quickening your hug
answering your questions
with a shrug
its just
I’m no longer in love
and being beckoned by lust
its not you
its us
the anticipation has submerged
the chills are lukewarm
the butterflies don’t
tingle anymore
I don’t look forward
to coming home
because when the lights go out
the reality turns on
I feel your hand creep
beneath the sheets
and I cringe
its not that your not attractive
its that I’m distracted
with him
no one said life was perfect…
or that we’d never part…
or that this would be easy…
or that I would break your heart…
believe me
this is the hardest part
but baby
I’m not in love with you
I mean…
I love you
for all that you do, have done, and once were
but the reasons I fell
have become a blur
do you even know
who I am anymore
a room once filled with laughter
silence now stirs
we are following our shadows
of who we once were
The ones who fell in love
yesterday
but I’m not the woman I was
yesterday
I want to protect you
from the things I need to say
there is no easy way.
Prelude to an affair….
Written by
tina divina
Welcome to my Blog… to a weekly discussion of love and relationships, the intricate passages into your heart, mind and soul. Let me speak the things that your thinking but not saying. Allow me to pick your brain and open your mind to….Possibility….
Its easy to write about all the beautiful parts of love… but love isn’t always that beautiful, sometimes its challenging, and tiring, and in need of nourishment, and why sugar coat it, lets call it what it is… Love is about falling in love, and falling out of love and if your lucky, falling in love again.
Have you ever been in a relationship where the passion has exhausted, I mean for all intensive purposes, you still love that person, but you’re just no longer “in love”. You find yourself in curious predicaments, your eyes start to wander, and perhaps you would never be unfaithful, but for a split second, you thought about it.
Holla at me,
~TD
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love it, as always!
A relationship without passion…hhmmm
I know for myself..I breathe passion, I am passion. Being in a relationship I need to feel that “umph” that certain feeling I get everytime I see “him”..after all he is the island I retreat to during and after the chaos of life.
I have learned that passion with balance is key..passion with other commonalities that we share or grow towards is the perfect combination. Passion is the one ingredient from the recipe that cant be skipped therefore should be nurtured.
This is heartbreakingly beautiful…
~m
Showing love. Love the new blog.
Lovin it Tina!!!
I’m so happy to see you here!!!
j.
Congratulation Baby, I am so proud of you.
The Poem was perfect!
lov mommie
You have out done yourself Ms. Divina! I am so excited for you! The site is amazing and has your lyrical hottness written all over it! Kudos to you my friend…..the poem is lyrically hott………Can’t wait to see what comes next……
Luv ya,
~Photography By Shereece
~Shereece
You know I think you rock, right? You gotta know this by NOW!!!
Get it TD!! Great write from a great chic….as always.
Kisses and hugs from your Chi-town friend! ~ Dotty
Thank you, Thank you for all of the support! I am very happy to be here and look forward to challenging your thoughts and inciting your ideas…
and Stacy I feel you.. but overtime, the “in love” feeling can dissipate? it is afterall but a chemical inbalance is it not? and far too many give up (at that stage) not realizing that it is possible to fall right back in love. A relationship is what you put into it….
Anyone agree?
Hey Tina, here you are! I did stop by yesterday.
Ok, Prelude To An Affair… Tina, that was me.. I wasn’t married but I was in a 7 year relationship and that was me, your words were my words! I fell out of love, grew into a different woman, became curious about others.. and had to break his heart. It was a very painful experience for both of us. That was me.
Ironically, we just had lunch together earlier this week for the first time in years… we even shared a sandwich, it was nice… but so much has changed now. That was me.
Great write as usual Tina, always hitting home!
XOXO ~ Chi Neen
I am so proud and excited of the new site, I can’t wait to check in for weekly posts and to have coffee table discussions with you and fellow members of the hidden beach family, congrats on the new page, it looks amazing!!
With this poem, I was in a situation where I felt the grass would be greener on th other side, and ran from problems I was having in a relationship to be with someone else. I learned that what I had meant more than what I realized, and we ended up working out our problems and actually are stronger now because of it.
~Lori
Love Love Love the blog! But what’s new! Congrats on launching with the Hidden Beach Family! Look forward to more wonderful reads in the future!
love this poem — good job
U know something…I could go so deep with this right now but I’ll keep it simple…after all this is a celebration lol
But Lori had an excellent point because so many of us think the grass is greener or that sometimes its easier to run away than to stay and work out our issues, often times this leads to a repeat situation aka baggage in the next relationship.
Relationships require work, especially when ur married or kids are involved. I would never suggest staying solely for the kids but sometimes its worth the extra effort. Then there are the times when the innevitable occurs and someone is left hurt…but its life. I’ve found that early communication is so necessary but sometimes you just GROW APART. Its just hard for people to accept when a relationship is over, especially if one persons feelings are still strong.
Been there, done that! my story is too long for this blog lol
Congrats TD, I wish u continued success and u still owe me my book cover! lol
xoxo
Kai~
Hold it down Ms. Divina… do your thang!!!
What a way to introduce those who aren’t up the dopeness that is Allowishus!
Congrats hunny you have a whole army of folks rootin for ya
Hey Tina! How true, especially regarding the fickle nature of love. We often look at all the positive aspects and are shocked when the spark isn’t there anymore. Never really thought about it being a chemical imbalance, but that’s exactly what it is…highs, lows and plateaus. It’s definitely a lot of work to maintain a relationship. I’ve changed my thought of wanting a man who will love me…now I focus on one who will love me through the good, bad, etc. Romantic love is short-lived.
Congrats on the launch! I’m looking forward to some great dialogue.
Girl! I can relate. I guess I’m pondering, at this point in my life, if I’m (we are) supposed to be in a long term relationship. Especially when it comes to dynamic people like ourselves, we’re changing so much that being in a relationship can make us feel weighed down or stagnant. Unless, we find a completely open relationship like Will and Jada (and I don’t know if I’m that open), that allows for newness, adventure and change, it’s hard to maintain.
Then on the other hand, some people are healthy being in long term relationships. It’s the best thing for their energy. Everyone has a different formula. We just have to find the right combination. I’m trying to figure mine out right now. The challenge is, I think the formula is forever changing…
Thanks for the insightful blog.
xoxo,
Tina McDowelle
Tina!!! This is probably my favorite poem from you so far! I love it!
Okay…..you start ‘em off with a classic Tina Divina original, eh? I love it. And Ive always loved this piece.
Keep ‘em coming Tina.
Luv it Sis!!!…
Luv It Sis!!
I think many can relate to this Tina. In my case the passion left because we simply grew apart, it happens and no one can really blame one or the other when two people who once shared commons goals (shift) and begin to grow in different directions. But I fall short of the “affair”, once I know it’s not going to work out, it’s time to leave BEFORE the eye starts to wander ;o)
Great Poem!
*common (goals)
Showin’ some Love- Angel Poet
nice website my friend.
….this was very realistic. very nice poem and great website, God Bless.
I love this concept as I am a poet too… and you are right “why not call it what it is.”
I have never been in a relationship where the passion left and I still had love for the person. Like one of the other comments said… I breathe passion. My personal experience has been when the love left but the passion was still there. The individual became an object rather than a person.
thank you Everyone..
I agree with Tina McDowelle, i think the formula is forever changing.
I also loved this line from S. White “The individual became an object rather than a person.” a very real statement.. the good thing is when we can point out these things, when we realize and are honest with ourselves we can begin to be honest with one another…
=}
~TD
I happened upon your website and I want to say I am glad that I did. I am exactly in the predictment that requires comments. I am more passionate in the fantasy of him then I am when I am standing in his very prescense. me being a woman, the response of my body and chemical reaction to him is directly related to the way that he treats me. Not that he doesn’t treat me well. It’s that he doesn’t treat me well enough. I don’t want to leave him but for a moment (maybe more than one time) I have considered being unfaithful.
Beautifully written! Yes, I agree with you on the fact that people give up a little to soon. It is very possible to drift apart then find your self face to face again. As you know I have been there and during that time I truely thought that when I found love again it wouldn’t be with him. Now we are happy again.
Love ya Sis!
Awwww I feel so loved, my Sis andddd my Mommy came in to support me!!
Anetta, thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience… and I love that you said this ” It’s that he doesn’t treat me well enough”
I thik in all relationships, over a period of time, we tend to forget the lil things and fall into a comfort zone of monotany. Both persons in need of that initial desire and feeling of being “wanted”…
Thank you everyone!!
This is absolutely unbelieveable. You have channeled my life and my inner most feelings and put them down on paper. I’ve written many poems about how I feel, but nothing this poignant. You have a gift and I thank you for this blessing. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this struggle, but the question is…How do you know if you can get that LOVE back?
Thank you Music!! When I write that is exactly what Im looking for my words to do.. to touch you inside and evoke those feelings you perhaps were repressing..
On getting the love back: I believe that as long as there is genuine love there, as long as there is a foundation of friendship, that you still like the person (hate hasn’t stewed) then yes I think it is absolutely possible to bring those “butterfly” feelings of love back.. Communication is key, ask you mate how he/she feels, perhaps they are going thru similar feelings… and sometimes the truth hurts us, so be prepared for whatever they have to say.. and vice versa.
What turns us off and on can change over the years as we grow older and find out more about ourselves, so be honest with yourself, your mate, and be open to the things they have to say…. =}
~TD
Awe Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn! Beautiful in it’s nuances
my thoughts is yours!!!!! tears falling from a rose pedal, that is wiltering, from a broken hearted fowl with birdless wings, is anyone out there knowing what i mean????
Great poem, I saw me right there in your words, I heard my voice in those exact words. This spoke to me in so many levels. I can remember one day turning around and realizing that dayum I love him, but in love I think not. I felt I needed to get away and find me. Good job TD!
LOVE IS INCREDIBLE
Love is real
So real it takes residence in minds
Seconds upon seconds each day
Like, OMG, what’s she up too now
Like, OMG, was last night mind-blowing or what
With anticipation building for the next time you’re graced by her presence
Blessed by her touch
United, bonded, connected on levels you might have previously thought unimaginable
Love
Yes, it is deep
So deep that you might at times think that your heart is about to jump out
Bounce around, an outburst of joy and complete satisfaction
Love, it’s pleasantly overwhelming
But of course
Becaues it’s Ok to have buckling knees
Ok to have unsettled stomach
Ok to want to fly, float, feel as though you can escape anywhere, anyday, anytime with your loved one
And nothing else will matter
Nothing
Because love is real, deep, often the only thing that keeps both men women going.